Tiger Woods. The invincible has fallen to his knees because of infidelity. This event, and the many many others like it.. convince me that my betrothal to being a free spirit; never to be bound to another by a piece of legal paper, a diamond ring and a community blessing; is a good one. I am sad that I believe in my choice so faithfully. I wish I had a good reason to break my vows but.. naaah.
Not so long ago, I remember having this feeling and building my future around this decision and then .. batta boom batta bang .. the father of my baby shows up! So I was unfaithful to my free spirit once. However, I have a beautiful child as a result but alas … love .. real love like you see in the movies.. alludes me. Man, I can’t even put myself out there to tempt ‘a situation’. Or as they say “I can’t get arrested”. Well no dear.. you can’t get arrested if you don’t commit a crime.
What really pisses me off is there is a double irony to the unfaithfulness of men and that is.. we women,.. let them do it. What? Are you freaking crazy? I hear you saying this but here is the reality. If women weren’t so eager to covet what is not theirs .. the infidelity of men would not be happening. I think that there is a large community of women who get off on stealing a man from another woman. To prove my point.. my baby’s Dad has moved on. God bless him… I don’t care.. about HIM or what he does..but I cannot stand HER. I have such venom for this woman who I have never met and her single crime against me is she made a mockery and a shipwreck of my family. I don’t really blame HIM because he is a dumb ass and if a single woman makes herself extremely available, I don’t care if you are superman, you are gonna go for it and if you don’t … you are truly an oddity in this universe.
So where does this leave me? Well… I’m okay.. I know I am ornery and grumpy about love and the situations it can invoke but what about my daughter? What is she thinking about love? This is my Mummy, that is my Daddy. Daddy loves someone else but doesn’t love my Mummy. How does that work? This is painful for me as her mother. I want her to fall inlove one day. I want her to trust and find a really good life partner but.. I can’t model that for her and neither can her stupid father. The very fact that he found love while he should have been with us has set a very rocky foundation for my daughters thoughts and opinions on love right from the get go.
This talk is really me thinking out loud because I have no solutions or words of wisdom to share about my predicament. I just want to say that it sucks.
Relationships today are soo defunct. Or that’s how I feel anyway. I don’t want to be inlove,, and I am not doing anything to court it. I am the carer of my daughter. There for her 24/7 .. that’s my most important job. I just wish the Tiger Woods’ of this world thought so too.